Listening to God

I live in the San Jose neighborhood. My kids go to San Jose Episcopal School. While dropping off their forgotten lunch tickets, I passed an icon of St. Joseph at the school and it all clicked. Saint Joseph! I live in his neighborhood. And he was such a great parent.

Joseph seriously listened to God. He had these dreams in which angels spoke to him and he listened. He didn't write off his dreams as frivilous expressions of his unconscious. He listened to them. And he also read the signs of his time. If there were newspapers in Joseph's day, he would have read them.

The Wise Men listened to. And they watched the sky. Both Joseph and the Wise Men were open to the movement of God in their lives. I want to be like that, to be open to God. But when I try to listen, I don't always know how to discern the difference between God's voice and the voices of my own desires, worries, other's expectations etc. How can we tell that it is really God?

In my years as a priest, it has occurred to me that God shows us signs of the Divine nature. If you are trying to listen and discern God's voice from all the other voices that cloud your mind, you can be sure of a few signs.

First, God usually tells us to move. I have never had one person come to me to say that God told them to stay exactly the same. No, God seems interested in our growth, in having us move closer. Grow! Move! Risk! These seem to be some of God's favorite words. Maybe that's why in English we chose the name GO…D. Even heaven is not stagnant. It is described as eternal life, which means growth and change and development. Never once is heaven described as eternal stagnancy. No, loving God is a process of change and of movement. As C.S. Lewis wrote in his vision of heaven,Further in and Further up!

Joseph listened to the messengers of his dreams. He also listened to the signs of the times. He knew that Herod was dangerous and he knew that Herod's son was no better. So he moved from Bethlehem to Egypt (and that was a major move on foot in those days, especially with a baby or toddler). Then he moved back into Judea but he was warned not to return to Bethlehem, so he settled in Nazareth. Joseph and his little family moved a lot. I wonder if Joseph ever wondered if he had made a mistake. I mean, if God told him to go to Egypt, why would God then tell him to move back to Israel? Does God reroute us sometimes?

Just a few months ago, my family and I moved. It was so hard. I loved my parish. I had been there for seven years and we loved one another. I was about to take a sabbatical and had just received a grant to travel to Costa Rica. I felt like I had gone mad. What was I doing, leaving such a wonderful place where I had been so happy? But something kept nudging me to move.
Now that I have moved, I really do think that it was God. As hard as it was to leave, I believe that I am here for a reason and that reason unfolds before me every day.

Another sign that I have identified is longevity. God's call does not fade. God's leading does not weaken. If something is of God, it will last.

I have heard the stories of several people who have encountered God in a dream. In all cases, the dream does not fade. It remains as vivid today as it was the night they experienced it.

Like my friend Brad who is a priest in Virginia. When he was in Seminary, his little girl died of leukemia. He was devastated, absolutely devastated. He thought of leaving Seminary. His friends told him to hold onto his faith and that just made him angry. They told him that it was God's will and that made him angrier still. He did not know how he could continue to be in Seminary. It was not that he didn't believe in God, it was just that he was so angry at God. How could God have robbed her of her life? She would never experience her first kiss, her prom, her wedding, having children. All of that was lost to her now and the thought of her missing out on life just enfuriated him. He was lost in darkness.

Then, one night, he had a dream. A short balding man with a kind face took his daughter by the hand. Together, they flew through all of life. She got to experience her first kiss, her prom, her wedding, having children, finding love- she got to experience all of it and more.

Brad awoke from that dream a changed man. He knew that his daughter was alright and that she was experiencing more than he could ever imagine. And he knew that his dream had been a gift from God.

Which brings me to the final identifier when it comes to discerning God's voice. It is from without. It is something that you just know you did not come up with, something so full of love, so well that it had to come from somewhere else. Not from fear, not from the opinions of others or from your own mind, but from God. It is love expanded.

Saint Paul tells us that we are adopted as children of God in our baptism. What kind of a parent doesn't speak to his or her child?

I believe that God is talking to us ALL THE TIME. We are just too busy, too frantic, to afraid to listen. But once you start listening, you realize that God is trying to call us home all the time. God is saying, Come to Me. Come Inside.

Don't be afraid to open your life and ask for God's guidance. Joseph did.

- The Very Rev. Kate Moorehead

Tuesday, December 22, 2009