Disagree to Live

Years ago, my husband and I walked from the Temple Mount to the town of Bethany just outside Jerusalem. As we were walking on a clear, crisp day, some children were standing by the side of the road. I smiled at them as we walked by and one of them bent down, picked up a rock, and threw it at us. They missed, ran a bit down the road, and aimed another rock right at us. I was frightened.

What would cause a child to hate a stranger that much? Where did they learn such hatred? The hatred of Jerusalem is a hatred between religions and races, between Jews, Christians and Muslims, and it dates back thousands of years.

Just look back, thousands of years ago, to the relationship of Sarah and Hagar. Here were two women whose rivalry and competition birthed the hatred between Islam and Judaism. Yes, at the root of much of the worlds violence, there stand two women. One birthed Ishmael, who Muslims believe is heir to the promise of God's favor. The other birthed Isaac, who Jews and Christians believe is the heir to God's favor.

God promised both Abraham and Sarah that they would have descendants as numerous as the stars. But, for the longest time, Sarah was not able to have children with Abraham. She was getting older fast. Even though God had promised that they would have a child, Sarah could not simply trust in God. She grew impatient. She could not wait. Sarah could not believe that she would be enough, that God would give her a son. She would not wait. She could not believe. So she took matters into her own hands. The seed of all the conflict and hatred for thousands of years rested upon this one decision, the decision of one women, who could not trust in God.

Sarah gave Abraham her slave girl, Hagar. And Abraham accepted. He lay with the slave girl and she conceived and gave birth to a son, Ishmael.

Sarah tried to play God. She tried to take matters into her own hands. And it is remarkable how much of a mess we human beings make when we try to play God. Like Eve taking the forbidden fruit, Sarah tried to fix a problem that wasn't hers to fix. God told her to wait. God promised to give her a child. But she would not wait. She would not wait for the fullness of God's promise. And she ended up making a mess.

How often to we fail to wait for God's answer? How often do we not believe that we are enough, that God will redeem us, answer our prayers, heal us, find us? So often, we don't give God enough time to really answer our prayers.

The Bible reads that Sarah was a beautiful woman. So beautiful that her husband was afraid he would be killed in Egypt when powerful men saw her, for they would want her as their own. Sarah was gorgeous and she was used to being first, used to being admired. Her foolish husband did little to curb her self-centeredness. So when Hagar became pregnant, Sarah could not stand it. She could not stand being second place.

Sarah used her slave girl and then, in doing so, created a broken relationship. She could not love Hagar. Everything that Hagar did seemed to anger Sarah. Once Hagar became pregnant, Sarah was overcome with jealousy. She said that Hagar looked at her with contempt. As often happens when one human being mistreats another, things only seemed to get worse.

Sarah began to abuse her maid. We don't know exactly what Sarah did but it wasn't pretty. She tried to hurt Hagar so much that the slave girl ran away. And the seed of one of the greatest conflicts in world history took root and grew.

Why do we hate those who win when we loose? Why do we hate those who disagree with us? Why do we try to force others to think as we do? Our government is shut down because we cannot move forward in compromise, because each side cannot budge to see the good in the other. We are stuck in estrangement. We are angry and our country is suffering. All we do is stand apart, slinging rocks at one another.

Why could Sarah and Hagar not share a child? Why could they not look each other in the eyes and see a sister? When the angel appears to Hagar, the angel tells Hagar to go back, to return to Sarah and try to get along with her. Just like what I would like to say to our leaders. Go back to one another and learn to get along.

What if the ones who disagree with us are the ones we are called to spend more time with? What if disagreement is itself divine? What if God WANTS us to disagree?

Abraham bargains with God. Job argues with God. God is practically on trial in the poetry of the book of Lamentations and Jesus, whenever he was faced with a question, usually responded with another question.

The ancient fathers said that the words of Scripture were filled with black words on white pages, with lots of white space and that God left the white space so that we could respond and argue and debate and voice our desires and longings and hopes and insights.

When Jesus healed the lepers in todays gospel, nine of them left, taking the healing for themselves as if they somehow accomplished it on their own. Only one turned back to say thank you, for he alone realized that healing happened because of a connection that he had with Jesus himself. Only one realized the truth, that we are nothing without each other. Nothing.

You define yourself by who you disagree with as much as by who you agree with. Disagreement is part of how God calls us to learn. Arguing is good. Let us not shutdown or separate like Sarah and Hagar did. Let us learn from one another, wrestle with good intentions, struggle together, argue, debate. Let us trust that God has something to teach us and that this something is found in the mind of the person who looks at us in the way that makes our skin crawl. Let us believe that this person could be our teacher.

Malala is 16 years old and she has been shot in the head. She was riding a bus in Pakistan when a member of the Taliban shot her. She nearly died. After a miraculous recovery, Malala has penned a best-seller and is up for a Nobel Peace Prize. I watched her in an interview.

She has a beautiful, clear speaking voice that rings out like a bell. Without hesitation or fear, she spoke of how education is the key to answering the world's problems. When asked how she felt about the Taliban, she said that she thought they blew up schools because they were afraid that girls would be educated. They are afraid of the power of education, she said. The audience watching the interview cheered at this remark.

Malala was asked if she encountered a Taliban today, what would she do. "My first thought, she said, was that I could take my shoe and hit him with it. But then, I realized that this action would make me like the Talib and I don't want to be like him. So I would speak to him. I would argue with him. I would tell him that I want his children to be educated too..."

What if Sarah had waited for God's promise? But even after she failed to trust in God and abused her maid, what if she had asked for forgiveness? What if she had embraced Hagar as her sister? What if they had raised their sons side by side, as brothers? What would the world look like if they had been able to look one another in the eye and listen to the other? What if they had been able to disagree and still love one another? What would our world look like today?

It is not too late. It is never too late to begin to learn how to disagree with respect and love. And it is never too late to learn to trust in God to answer us.

- The Very Rev. Kate Moorehead