Ashes to Go?

Good afternoon, General Seminary. It is such an honor to be with you on this Ash Wednesday. Since most of you are reading a lot, you are well aware of the existence of the Lectionary and the trouble that scholars and priests go to to select readings appropriate for every holiday and Sunday. I must admit to you that I have never understood why this particular gospel is selected for Ash Wednesday.

For the most part, Episcopalians are a modest group. We do not wear strange hats or habits or shave our heads, we dont wear bonnets or phyulacteries or carry prayer rugs. Most of the time, you cannot tell us from the average agnostic if you were to run into us on the street. We dress how ever we want to dress. But on this one day of the year, we put Ashes on our foreheads and we actually wear them out of the church and into the street and, for one day of the year, we are visibly identifiable as Christians.

So, why, on this one day, do we choose to read the one passage from the gospels where Jesus tells us NOT to practice our piety in order to be seen by others. When you are fasting, he says, wash your face. Dont make out that you are any different from anyone else. Dont show off your devotion.

I have heard of a few churches that pass out wash clothes after their Ash Wednesday services and invite people to wipe off the ashes from their foreheads so as to follow the gospel of the day more precisely, but I have never done such a thing. Nor do I think it is a good idea. I like wearing my ashes out on the streets and here is why.

On Sunday night, at the Oscars, Ellen DeGeneres said that the most important thing in the world was youth. She was joking, or at least I think she meant it as a joke, but the truth is that most of us believe that in America today. Youth is beautiful. Youth is money. China and the US are competing for younger work forces. Everyone wants to hide their grey hairs, smooth out wrinkles, exercise and use Oil of Olay. The point is to look young because when you are young and vigorous, you can pretend that you are not going to die.

And there is this secret part of every American that believes that he or she will be the first not to die. That is why we work so hard to build up our 401K's but dont write a will. That is why we work so hard to look young. Because when you are old, you are useless and you have to admit that your life is waning. And no one wants to admit that.

I buried a woman who died of breast cancer last year. Her husband was only in his fifties. He had to be led to the sanctuary, like a child. He could hardly speak. We went to the burial site and they put out that fake grass to cover over the dirt and after the service, he stayed. They urged him to leave but he, unlike most, wanted to see the coffin being lowered into the ground. So he stayed and I stayed with him and we watched as they pulled the fake grass away and got out this big machine and lowered the casket into the dark dirt. And he looked at me, his eyes full of grief and fear. It was so dark down there.

I dont think that we wear ashes today to show off our piety. We are not stating that we are praying, though we obviously went to church today. We wear these ashes to say something much more important.

I AM DUST.

In other words, I am going to die. I myself will be dirt and dust and ashes. I will be nothing at all.

In Jesus' day, when a loved one died, the family would tear their clothes and pour dirt over their heads and wail and they werent showing off their piety, they were honest about their despair.

Today, we predict our own deaths and we admit that the death rate is 100% and that we will NOT get out of it. Today, we are not showing off. Today we are telling the truth.

And why, why do we do this? Why do we walk around New York City like the living dead? Because we are beginning a journey today, a forty day journey that will take us to heart of the tomb and beyond.

If you think that somehow you will never die, then there is no room in your life for God and you can't start the journey to Easter. If you think that you are perfect, then there is no room for God's salvation. Jesus came to the poor and the outcast because they knew that they needed help. They knew that they had made mistakes, that they needed redemption, that their lives were a mess. If, deep down inside, you think that you are good and that you will go to heaven no matter what you do or what you believe, then dont put ashes on your forehead. Dont do it.

But if you see how much of a failure you are and that you never can quite get your life just right. If you understand that you are wounded and in need of healing. If you see now that you are helpless without God, then put ashes on. Because ashes are telling the truth about our essential natures, that, without God, we are nothing but dirt. And that is not practicing piety. That is telling the truth.

Do you remember the movie, Walk the Line, about Johnny Cash? Cash was told by his Dad that he was nothing and he believed his dad. He took so many drugs that he almost died. But June Carter and her parents stayed with him, chasing off the drug dealers and waiting while he detoxed and shook and was mostly unconscious. And, when he finally came to, June was sitting by his bed with a bowl of raspberries. As he began to eat them, John spoke the truth about who he thought he was.

"I am nothing," he said.

June looked at him straight in the eyes and she responded. "You are not nothing! God has given you a second chance, John. This is your chance!"

Ash Wednesday is our chance to say we are nothing. And then we can begin the journey of salvation. You see, the only way to begin the journey to the resurrection is by starting in the dirt. Because we can NEVER begin to contemplate the miracle of the resurrection if we do not first go to the tomb and admit that we are going to die, that we are nothing but dust without God. Salvation is not something that we deserve, something that we are due. Easter is a gift! An undeserved gift. The greatest of all gifts. If you secretly believe that you are going to live forever and that you go straight to heaven with no questions asked, then you do not understand the radical act of resurrection.

The truth is that, without God and Christ's salvation, we are nothing at all. We are dirt and dust and ashes. And that is the truth.

- The Very Rev. Kate Moorehead